There must have been quite a few dates on Valentines eve, some lovely and some really bad so I sat here thinking about the worst date I have ever been on and you know I like to share…Its not as bad as Clem Keith but it just wasn’t fun at all.
I'm going to call him WBB (wannabe bad boy) and he and I met in a club around 2005 I think. Now before I continue I just want to tell all the people that rolled their eyes that you actually can meet people in a club. My friend met her husband (note: husband) in a club and they have been together around eight or so years and have children! I also met an ex in a club and was with him for four years.
I don’t believe that it’s the right or wrong place to meet a person. I believe that you meet who you are supposed to when you are supposed to. The location doesn’t really play a part.
Obviously there are a couple of problems when you do meet in the club, the first being trying to hold a conversation over the music. I remember there was another guy I met and I thought he said he was a Trainer and he thought I said I was in PR. In fact he was a Trader and I was a PA. Our date was really interesting, I felt quite puzzled when he asked me about press releases and the different type of people I meet in my job. He however felt quite excited and the date was going well when I asked him to work on my body lol.
The second problem with meeting in a club is, that sexy thing that you see in the dark corner of the club might not be what appears in the daylight and that’s what happened when I met WWB.
In the club I had seen this really beautiful guy, who was well dressed and friendly, I had established that he was 29 years old and a hair technician we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet in Leicester square about a week later.
So at 8.15pm I stood there waiting and I called him slightly annoyed as we said 8pm He arrived and gave me a big smile but the smart, well dressed guy who I saw in the club was not what was standing in front of me……how could I have missed the gold teeth? Now I'm not just talking about one or two, there was a lot of gold and silver…I needed shades…my head was hurting and the way he was dressed…I'm sure it wasn’t that cold and he had on one huge jacket with a hat pulled right down I could hardly see him. He looked like a hood rat or one of those gang members we keep seeing on the news. He looked scary!
We stood around chatting for a minute and I said trying to make light of the situation
Me – So you were saying you were a hair technician? What is it? Do you work in a hospital?’
WBB – erm…no…not really
ME – ok so a clinic? Do you help people with baldness or something?
WBB – no…it’s more like I cut peoples hair, like a Barber
ME – oh like a Baber?
WBB - Well yeah I am actually a barber
ME – oooooooooooooooh (moving on quickly) so where are we going?
WBB – I haven’t thought of anywhere, you choose
ME – (thinking of his pocket) lets to go China Town
WBB – yeah I’ve never been to a restaurant before
ME – What? (Incredulous) you have never been to a restaurant?
WBB – well yeah….what I mean is, not like one that you eat in.
I thought to myself are there any other types?
He was still talking about his school days, how he failed all his exams, didn’t go onto further education, in fact hates 'the system' He wanted to be a professional footballer, and though he could do it, but didn’t go to training and basically wasn’t serious about that either so ended up being a barber.
I noted how the general members of the public were looking at him quite scared and when we arrived at the restaurant I really felt that they thought they were about to get robbed even I zipped up my handbag. He also kept going on about who he knew from which gang, this was scary and not impressive. Also the thought of being accidentally shot in some gang war crossfire didn’t appeal.
Note to all the guys that think women want a bad boy…we don’t, we need professionals with jobs.
It was true he had obviously not spent any time eating out since he wore his ‘Hood Rat Hat’ thought the meal, got the waiters attention by shouts like Oy, Yo and Ey, didn’t use his napkin (of course) and when it was time for the bill he grumbled that £20 ($28) was a bit expensive. I was amazed as I had picked the cheapest place because I was trying to save his pocket! The bill was £19.50 and he took his 50p change (no tip??)
To give you a true feel of this guy, here are some of his top quotes of the night
When describing his school he said
"My teachers thought I would be in prison by now but I sure proved them wrong"
When walking to the restaurant he took the liberty of pointing out
"Look that is where my best friend got stabbed and killed"
"and this is where Daddy P got shot"
When talking about his upbringing he said
"I'm glad my father wasn’t around when I was growing up, I would have had to do something with my life, like…..well….like…. go to school"
When talking about his dating life he said
"I have never been on a date most of the girls I know just come around my house"
When talking about me he said
"No one I know talks like you, you pronounce all your words"
When talking about the rich he said
"there are people out there that earn big money like…. £25k!”
I was glad that he didn’t want to know anything about me apart from how I can afford to buy my own house & car? I was looking forward to getting this over quickly and going home.
After the meal which he had spent talking about himself and his failed life he said "I have somewhere really special to take you"
I wasn’t enthusiastic I wanted to get away far away and as quick as possible but curiosity got the better of me …perhaps movies, ice cream…a bar …something…. No
"Are we going bowling?" I asked surprised
"No" he replied angrily screwing up his face "I have already spent £20 do you think I'm made of money? Let’s play on some of the machines"
Says it all doesn’t it…..
By the way his email address was [name]email@example.com