The Healing Feeling

I've had a busy long weekend!! Remember when you were a child and your relatives used to visit? It was exciting wasn’t it? Mum used to get out the best cups and you used to be dressed all nicely? Well at the weekend, family were getting out the best plates for me as I was in Derbyshire where I did a few family visits.

For some reason many of my people live up there so I had to go see quite a few. I haven't been up there in (shame) three years, although I have seen them at events and in London and I speak on the phone I haven't made the trip myself.

When I went to my sisters. I felt like the true Auntie from London with the whole 'wow haven't you grown?' 'how are you getting on in school?' my niece does cheerleading and I was saying 'show me a little routine' that kind of thing I even took a few family photos and had to sit through a good many home movies. It was so nice though.

Being the model family member I took gifts to all, mostly bottles of wine but I made sure I took my grandmother one of the bags from my website and my sister some lovely soaps.

One person I made sure I went to see was my Daddy, he is resting in Derby Cemetery, it so was hard going there because I haven't been since he was put there. At first I couldn’t find his plot and I got really upset and emotional but I found it. I went alone and for some reason spent around two hours there. I miss him a lot and its nice to have a place to go and express that. I cant explain it but when I sat there and poured my heart out, I think some hurt, or something inside me healed right up and now I feel lighter. I hope that makes sense.

So all in all I would say this weekend was fantastic, I got to spend time with the people I loved, eat a lot of food, laugh, smile, dance and heal my heart.

Visiting Dad was on my 30 things list (it was a personal one) I'm glad I went. When was the last time you visited family? Or had that healing feeling?

I was saved tonight, I really believe that.

Well apart from what happened tonight, I’ve been having quite a fun week.

On Saturday night I went Ice Skating at Somerset House, Mr Special took me (very romantic) all my friends say next we will be roasting chestnuts on an open fire lol. It’s great because that’s another of my 30 things done so I now have 27 things left.


On Monday I went to the Jamaican Dancehall Class and I’m sorry guys I just didn’t represent. I probably shamed all black people on earth. Apart from the teacher there were only a few black faces in there let alone any Jamaicans. I was thinking in my mind ‘yeah I can out dance these, I was born doing this!’ Let me tell you that I was so WRONG! Those stick thin white girls go every week and they have the moves locked down!! They can wine ten times better than anyone in Jamaica lol!


Then tonight I went to Salsa with two of my long time friends. It was a ball but something happened on the way home which now has me here on my laptop in my bed writing this.


When I left it was really cold and raining (When is this crap weather ever going to let up?). On the tube home I was busy reading when I looked up and saw this man intently staring at me. I looked around and the carriage was empty so I felt a bit strange, when it got to the next stop I walked up and moved into the next carriage, unfortunately this was also empty but at least he wasn’t there.


The stop after he came into my carriage and sat opposite me again and started staring again. I realised that he was on drugs or something.


“Don’t hide from me” he said


So now I was afraid. It wasn’t really that late a night, but it was dark and I was travelling alone. I started to get irritated with London as they want to force everyone to use public transport and make it such a nightmare to drive anywhere or park that you have no options. If I had taken my car out I wouldn’t have to put up with this guy.


“Where are you going?” he asked me
I didn’t respond, just kept pretending to read
“You smell good” he said “I want to get closer to you, I’d have fun with a girl like you”
I didn’t know how he could smell me and I didn’t want to know. I got up and moved again and he got vexed


“NO, you don’t move away from me” and he came back and sat opposite me.


What do you do in this situation?? Advice for next time please???


I pulled out my phone and called Mr Special, not that he would have been able to do anything but I needed to talk to someone, he didn’t answer!! Then I called a friend and she didn’t answer!!! So I put my phone away I didn’t want him to see me afraid.


I sized him up and wondered if I would have to fight him and if I had any chance at all of winning that fight I was shaking but I didn’t want him to see me afraid.


All this time he was talking…telling me what he wants to do with me and all sorts of stuff then my stop came.


I got off onto a deserted platform and deserted train station and he followed me of course, I ran up the stairs and outside to the bus stop. I could walk home but I was thinking that was a major bad idea and that I should stay in that well lit area with lots of cars coming by.


He was angry that I ran away so he was now at the bus stop with me he said “I’m getting on whatever bus you get on and I’m coming home with you and I’m much stronger than you”


I didn’t want to be a drama queen but I was seriously thinking about calling the police when the next train came in. I heard it and prayed that people got off and they did.


It was a man and his wife who was carrying their sleeping child in her arms.


I’ve been living here for about five years and I have seen that man around, I don’t know him but I have seen him many times. He nodded at me and walked on.


Hindsight would have had me follow them and explain the situation but I wasn’t really thinking straight. I tried to call people again and no one was picking up. The psycho man was now moving closer and feeling much braver. He kept telling me how he is going to follow me home. This was one of the scariest times of my entire life because I realised that he really was going to follow me home and he really was going to attack me and I really needed to find out what I was going to do about that.


Suddenly a car pulled up at the bus stop. It was the man who had just walked by, with his wife and child, he said “Jump in, it’s so cold and you live on our street I will give you a ride”


I didn’t hesitate and I scrambled in the back leaving the psycho man behind.


It turns out they live right opposite me, we had a good chat and a few tears on the way home. The wife let me hold the little one as well and he was so cute.


So now in my five years of being here I know two people on my road, sour face girl and this lovely little family.


I really didn’t know how to thank them enough.

A Letter From A Stranger….

This is me reading my letter...

There is something sugary and delightful to me about receiving a handwritten letter. That’s why it’s on my list of thirty things to do this year. So when I came home the other evening and sifted through my letters….. ‘bill, bill, ex’s debt letter, bank statement, buy a new car sales letter, bill’ at the bottom of the pile on girly pink writing paper was a handwritten letter all for me. Of course I was delighted I sat down, made a cup of (green) tea curled up and read through the fifteen pages. Taking me back to my Pen-pal childhood before email was invented.

When was the last time you wrote (not typed) a letter? Have you ever written a letter to someone you didn’t know? What would you say? How would you introduce and express yourself?

The letter was from a sympathetic reader who read my list of thirty things and decided to help me achieve one. Thanks hun! There was a certain openness in their writing where the sender explained who they were, where they were from and small parts of their life which left me wanting to know more about them so I will definitely write back.

Wow I have a pen-pal :)

On a deeper level reading it also left me thinking that when humanity abandons the pen and paper completely when instant communication, such as emails, phone calls webcam, e-cards video calls and texts are all that’s left. We would have really lost something.

I think we would have lost a little joy in our lives, the same sort of joy you get from running through sprinklers or curling up with someone warm when the rain is pouring outside. Hmmmm I think I’m going to write to people more and start sending cards again. Oh and write in those cards instead of saying ‘from Angel’

The feeling of payback is sweet!

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while but keep getting sidetracked. Today I decided that you all need to hear about it.

About a year ago, I noticed that there was a sista living on my street who looked around my age. In London none of your friends even live in the same borough and you have to travel to meet anyone let alone in the same street so I was quite pleased to see her.

We have the same routine so each morning we walk to the same stop, get on the same bus, go on the same tube and travel to work. I presume she works at Harrods as she often wears the fleece and no one, unless you worked there, would wear that normally.

So due to the fact that we see each other almost every day the natural thing would be to say hi, how you are you?

1st Encounter
My opportunity came in the supermarket one Saturday morning; I was just leaving and saw her in the queue for a taxi. So I walked over and smiled

“Hi” I said “are you waiting for a taxi?”

The girl looked me up and down, didn’t smile or anything, just gave me one mean look and said nothing so I continued quite nervously

“It’s just that…..well…I drive….so I thought I……”

I stopped there because so far she had given me no response just a nasty look on her face like she smelt something bad. Then I figured that perhaps she didn’t have a clue who I was! So I said “We live on the same street”

“Yeah I know” she spat

So I then rather sheepishly said “oh” and half smiled and walked off. I felt like a real idiot.

After this I saw her in the mornings as usual but it was only then I noticed that she was one of those people that just walk around with an angry look on their face and is probably just mad at life in general.

2nd Encounter
I guess we must have the same sort of shopping times as about a month or two later I saw her in the supermarket again. I was afraid as she came towards me with a massive smile on her face. Since the time I have been seeing her, this was the first smile I have ever seen.

“Hi” she said really nicely “did you bring your car today?”

Now I'm standing there thinking ‘WTF? This girl never ever acknowledges me and now she wants a lift home? She never ever speaks to me and when I tried to speak to her……..no way she can forget it!’

I smiled back at her and said “sorry love I'm not going straight back home today (lie) so I can’t give you a lift”

She looked really unimpressed and just walked off.

I did feel a bit bad though as when I drove past I saw her walking home with bags in her hands. I guess the credit crunch meant that taxis were off the menu lol

Final Encounter
After that, things had been pretty much the same between her and I, we had just decided to ignore each other.

Anyway, I think it was the 29th or the 30th December I was running a little late and as I was walking down the street the bus came so I had to run for it.

She was already at the bus stop and when the bus came she took one look at me, saw me running and got on the bus anyway and the bus drove off.

I WAS LIVID! She knows I get that bus, she could have made that bus wait, she could have put one leg in or spoke to the driver or something I was around four strides away but she didn’t.
I was late for work and I can’t tell you all the bad things I was thinking about this girl however the feeling of payback is sweet!

That night London was so cold -3 or something I remember even the radio presenters were going on about how cold things were, it was dark and I was on my way home when I walked past her at the entrance to my road. I could quite clearly see that she had been shopping again but this time all her bags had split open, her shopping was rolled around on the floor and she was standing there, cold and wondering what to do.

“Hi” she said he face had on that fake smile again

“Hi” I replied and kept walking

“Wait” she said “my bag has split”

I stopped turned and looked at her and then said most sympathetically “Yeah I can see” Then I walked on

“Wait” she said again “I was wondering if you would stay with my shopping whilst I go in and get a bag”

“Wait?” I said vexed “wait? What like you made the bus wait?” Then I kissed my teeth Jamaican style.

She looked quite alarmed and started to babble some excuses “erm…erm…I couldn’t make the bus wait the drivers now-a-days…blah blah blah”

“Oh well” I replied and walked off and into my house

Now Angel being Angel wouldn’t have been able to sleep that night if I had just left her out there so I waited around 10 minutes then went back outside with a couple of spare bags and gave them to her, I didn’t say anything I just handed her the bags and walked back into my house.

I felt good though…lol

This year, I am going to…

Aggghh it’s a nightmare. I’ve been feeling a bit conflicted lately surrounding New Years Resolutions.

When listening to the radio, reading the paper or even reading other peoples blogs there are too many different opinions. Here are the top four;

• Don’t make them they are a waste of time

• Make them because otherwise you will not have any aims for the year
  
  
• Set Goals instead – here was me thinking that’s what they were.
  
  
• When you set them and don’t do them you have another reason to consider yourself a failure

See what I mean??

So I have decided to make a list of 30 things I want to do/have this year. I won’t beat myself up if I don’t do them all. The way the economy is it might not be possible but I thought it would be good listing them and then when I do one of them I can write about it here :)

I’ve done many of them before but 2008 was oh so serious, 2009 I need to have a bit more fun.

Here is the list - Pretty achievable huh?

Angel's 30 Things...

1. Go to one of the places on this list
   
   
2. Do something for charity
   
   
3. Receive a handwritten letter - someone send me one
   
   
4. Go Rollerblading - I had so much fun in the summer with this I want to do it again
   
   
5. Host a Murder Mystery Evening - and we all have to dress up!
   
   
6. Decorate my Living Room
   
   
7. Go Paintballing
   
   
8. Go on a girly Spa Day
   
   
9. Get a facial - this has to be in my lunchbreak or at a time when Im quite stressed out
   
   
10. Go Ice Skating
    
    
11. Take a trip on the London Eye - You know in all the time I have lived here I have never been on it
    
    
12. Visit the opera
    
    
13. Get a manicure & pedicure - I did this myself for the whole of 2008 but it would be nice to get it done by someone else just once in 2009.
    
    
14. Go to the ballet
    
    
15. Run a 10k race - well I have run a few 5k ones so 10k shouldnt be a problem right???
    
    
16. Go out clubbing on a 'school night' - ShonaVixen - what you saying girl?? lol
    
    
17. Get a full body massag - YUM
    
    
18. Go for afternoon tea in the Rose Lounge at the Sofitel St James and hear the harpist play
    
    
19. Go to the Slavery Museum in Liverpool
    
    
20. Go Strawberry picking
    
    
21. Go to Karaoke
    
    
22. Update my will - not that im planning anything bad to happen lol
    
    
23. Grow a herb garden
    
    
24. Go with a large group to the movies
    
    
25. Go on a picnic

26 - 30 are really personal about self growth, development, mindset, forgiveness etc if I get them done I might tell them to you...

So did you make any resolutions? goals etc?

The Party was a success!

A few days before the party I said I wasn’t going to cook, I was going to get some Iceland Party Packs and give everyone finger food. I didn’t fancy slaving in the kitchen; I had even pre warned all the guests. However, the night before I changed my mind so when Mr Special arrived to go shopping I had made a huge list and he got everything on my list.

You would have been proud of me on New Years Eve by 2pm I had made a huge pot of Rice and Peas, two Macaroni Pies, a whole heap of Jerk Chicken (which I had seasoned before bed) another huge batch of Salmon Fishcakes, some potato salad a lettuce and avocado salad and some rum punch. It looked good. Mr Special would have helped but he was at work, when he came back later to say he was impressed was an understatement! I think I earned my points right there :)

When he came back he finished off getting the house ready and I got myself ready, I might add that I had on quite a bit of make up as my top lip had some surface scabs on (YUCK)

We were slightly worried we had invited too many people after all I only live in a small apartment but don’t you find that with events like these certain people drop out at the last minute and others decide they can make it? In the end, the right people came and in the right numbers, the crowd was just perfect a nice mix of his people and my people and everyone got on like a house on fire. The music, the food, the drinks were perfect, and when I looked around I saw people laughing, talking and having fun.

At 11.50 I realised that it was nearly midnight so I poured everyone champagne and we got in a massive circle. Usually after midnight everyone is supposed to cross hands and sing ‘Alud Lang Syne’ its a very English Tradition so none of us knew the words so we all decided to sing Bob Marley and had a bit of a practice whilst we were waiting. At midnight we cheered but then we realised we didn’t do the count down so I did it again and we all cheered louder and then drunk all the champagne.

We decided we wouldn’t be able to get away without singing the Alud Lang Syne and we were all a bit merry from Rum Punch and Champagne (especially me who had not had any alcohol in 2008) we decided to make it up as we went along with each person singing the next line, now that was hilarious.

After this we played a game of charades which I had pre prepared it was movie titles and let me tell you it was hilarious, imagine trying to act out Dirty Dancing, Rat Race or Planet of the Apes?

Then we chilled and chatted again.

It finished at around 4.30 am and it was a fantastic New Year.

What about you? I know im a bit late Did you have a nice time?

Body Hair - Don’t try this at home…

This is slightly off topic but I have to tell you about this. So being a New Year its all about New Starts. I’ve never had much hair on my legs, it doesn’t really grow, I think I killed it with the constant attacks I have done to it over the years – this is the same for the underarm area. I go for a bikini wax every now and then to keep that area trim – yes it hurts I'm not going to lie. Also there is something slightly uncomfortable about lying on your back with your legs open, whilst a strange woman strokes your privates with a lollypop stick loaded with hot wax! But hey, (she shrugs her shoulders) ….a girl has to do what a girl has to do…

In 2008 one thing that was bugging me was…I was convinced that my upper lip area was getting darker. They say this is to do with getting older and hormones. I asked everyone about it but no one noticed apart from me. Even Mr Special said he couldn’t see anything and men really don’t like a woman with a moustache so they would say. Some of my most honest friends said that they don’t know what I was talking about but I was convinced. I even asked a strange guy who was trying to talk to me on the tube but he smiled and said he would have to get closer for a full inspection.

So I don’t know if I was just focussing on something small and making it bigger or I was really growing a moustache. Either way I wasn’t going to have a moustache in 2009 so, the night before my party - BIG mistake I decided to buy some wax strips and do it myself. I was being stingy and thought that there was point paying someone to take off a little bit of hair when I could do it myself…like I said….BIG (note the capital letters) Mistake.

Mr Special was on his way around, we needed to go and buy some party food so I thought I could quickly do it before he came. It looked really easy on the box and looked like it would take five minutes so I decided to do it.

I heated the strips in the palms of my hands like they say and then stuck the wax strip to the top of my lip but then the thought of ripping it off didn’t appeal to me so I stood in front of the mirror debating ripping it off. I realised at that moment the reason why you pay someone to wax you.

Five minutes later I ripped it off. With a massive PULL…You should have heard my scream it was louder and higher pitched than an orgasm scream. I think that even if you were five blocks away you would have heard me.

I looked at the wax strip and there was no hair on it. I obviously was being paranoid about the hair. Instead there was skin! Perhaps I took too long pulling it off and the wax had dried but whatever the reason it had ripped the top layer of my skin off. Now instead of an imaginary dark moustache above my lip I had a big red, stinging one and the box said don’t put any creams or oils on the area for 24 hours. I rubbed it a bit with an ice cube but that didn’t do anything and at the time when I was fussing over it he called me and said he was outside so I had to go.

The funny thing is, he didn’t really notice at first but in the supermarket under the bright lights he said, eying me suspiciously

“you’ve been doing some beauty stuff haven’t you?”

“Errmm yes” I replied sheepishly “you noticed?”

How could he not notice? It was still stinging me. However I thought I would play it cool so I said all sweetly

“I wanted to look nice for you” LOL!

He gave the perfect response that any man should give who is caught in a situation like that; I have to give him points for his response he said

“You look beautiful” and he kissed me

awwwwww