I didn’t think I would have the chance to blog again before I left but here I am. I couldn’t leave without telling you this story.
Yesterday, the final thing on my 'to do list before the holiday' was to get a bikini wax. That’s it, now I'm packed and will be setting off in the early hours.
I'm sure you all remember that waxident that I had where I took off my skin (Read Here) so I thought on this occasion the best thing for me to do would be to get it done professionally.
I always go to the same salon and the lady that does me is a Ghanaian woman called Elizabeth, she is lovely and I'm really comfortable with her. When I arrived at the Salon the receptionist a skinny blonde haired polish girl called through to the beauty room and said 'Ma Cho, Angel is here for her appointment"
Surprised I said "sorry, who is Ma Cho? My appointment is with Elizabeth"
The skinny lady replied "ah yeah Elizabeth is off sick, but don’t worry Ma Cho is good you will be fine" When she said that I noted a slight smile in the corners of her lips and that was that.
I waited standing in reception, it’s really hot at the moment and it was baking in there so I was by the door feeling a little breeze. Suddenly I heard a high pitched scream of surprise which forced me to turn around.
As I turned I saw it was a tiny old oriental lady who had made the noise. I'm around 5f10' and she wasn’t even 4 foot! She didn’t even come higher than my armpit. I had heels and shorts on so my legs must have looked so so long compared to her.
"HAA!! Oh my" she screamed (I wish I knew how to type the accent, just imagine a little Oriental woman and the way she spoke) "WOW, GIANT BIG LADY" she said "Big lady, big vagina, we will need more wax come come quickly lot of work now"
I was speechless and in a bemused state I followed her to the beauty room.
Elizabeth usually gives me a false sense of privacy by leaving the room whilst I strip to my underwear and then gives me a knock a minute or two later and asks if it’s ok to come in.
Not Ma Cho! Ma Cho just stood there smiling and waving her hands at me "come big black lady, hurry hurry, big vagina, I go cause you lot of pain huh? You go cause me lot of work huh?"
I felt shy and started to protest "I haven’t got a big vagina…" but she interrupted "HAA, hurry now, I feel excited"
I was in two minds if I should just put back on the shorts as I don’t want anyone in an excited mode waxing my most private parts so I said
"Well calm down, there is nothing to be excited about"
I took off my shorts and sat on the bed and I started to explain what I wanted when with one Kung Fu like move in the blink of an eye she slammed me down flat on the bed and ripped off my pants!! I'm telling you she was strong she winded me!
She said "shut up I know what to do" then glancing and the torn underwear she said "oh no, that always happening to me”
I, on the other hand was mortified. I have never removed my underwear for a bikini wax in my life! I had no intention of showing someone my stuff.
When I told my friend about that part she was in hysterics and when I told Mr Special he said "Torn? Like what ripped off? Did she not think you might want to keep those pants or perhaps you might like to travel home with underwear on?"
So I'm lying back seeing the funny side now and her excited ways had me feeling like giggling I told her, please Ma Cho, not too much.
Because I was laughing it spurred her on. She was getting carried away and dancing around doing a few chops in the air. Every time she pulled off the wax strip she made a “YAH” sound
“I go make it nice for you” Rip YAH, Rip YAH, Rip YAH
“I go make you sexy lady” Rip YAH, Rip YAH, Rip YAH
“I make nice vagina, you have nice vagina , oooh sexy vagina”
Things were disappearing fast and I quickly pushed her out of the way and stood up.
Ma Cho, enough! I was laughing hard by then. But come on, I didn’t want to be bald. There needs to be some hair there. I believe that the men that like it totally bald are the ones who have some kind of paedophilic fantasies who want sex with little girls so there needs to be a bit of something to show I am a woman.
“Ok Ok big Amazon lady” she said “I stop now, but please lay down so I can put cream”
“Phew” I thought
So I lay back closing my eyes when I felt little pinches
I looked back up and saw she now had tweezers
“I get really small hairs ok? I make nice for you ok?
Luckily this only lasted a few minutes when she finally put some cream on and I left
“All ok?” the receptionist said I could see she was trying not to laugh it was then I realised that the whole place could hear everything.
What an experience!!