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Friday, 18 September 2009

Single Ladies Join The Gym

Ok ok before you all start getting upset with me I'm not saying it because I think you are fat, but if you are sis you know what to do, stop complaining and sort yourself out. Remember you only get one body and when you get old with health problems you can only blame yourself. The reason why I'm saying that single ladies should join the gym is because there are men there, lots and lots of them!!

A few weeks ago I decided that I need to fix up, I'm getting all cuddly and comfortable instead of toned and sexy. Mr Special prefers cuddly but understands that things can get out of control. Just so you know, due to lack of exercise lots of eating and nuff chocolate I'm on the brink of out of control! There are lots of health benefits to regular exercise too and I'm one of those people that enjoy working out, last year I was playing netball and running 5k races!! My goal is to loose a little weight, have a good level of fitness and have a booty like Serena Williams. So with that in mind I joined the local gym and have been trying to go three times a week.

To this day I'm not sure if it’s the days or times I go to the gym but even from the start I noticed the lack of females. There were one or two but these sistas were super fit or married. The ones with the rings on were really just chilling in there watching TV whilst peddling the bike. I wanted to actually make a difference to myself. At first I felt very self conscious when I was working out, I had a funny feeling that all eyes were on me. This is NOT good when you are sweating like a pig on the treadmill, or struggling to lift the lightest weight on the machines. Even when I went swimming I caught the lifeguard checking me out with mild interest and I'm not the hottest woman in a costume so it was embarrassing I just wanted to hide. Mr Special now has to come swimming with me when I go, this has its good and bad sides as he tends to get distracted/horny with me in the pool. I discovered this when we went to the spa - another story.

Anyway after a couple of weeks in I started not noticing all the staring and did my thing. Now as a 'regular' these brothas got brave and started making conversation/chit chat with me. It started with a nod of a head and a mouthed hi and is now a full blown 'how are you? How was your weekend? Can I take you out sometime?

Trust me single women, to find a man join the gym. Even if you don’t find one, you get a killer body in with it.

Now you are probably wondering who are these men? What type of man are they? I have categorised them to help you.

The Gym Man Catergories by Angel

Level 4 Gym Man
Level 4's are extremely fit and are in there for exercise only. He comes to the gym every single day for 2 or 3 hours at a time and the only thing he cares about is his appearance. He will notice you and he will watch you slowly improve. Where you are at a good level of fitness and he has seen you enough times so he feels you are dedicated he will come over and talk. Never approach him, the worst thing you can do is interrupt his 5th set of bicep curls. If you get with this guy remember he will always put exercise first so as long as you are prepared to share his free time with the gym that is cool. He is a perfectionist and you will both fight over the mirror. Also he probably waxes.

Level 3 Gym Man

He also comes every day, but this is probably because of the recession he was made unemployed and is trying to find something to fill up his time. I have lots of these in my gym. He is fit too and will happily help you with your fitness by giving you lots of advice. He will welcome your approach especially if you compliment him and tell him how fit he is. He needs praise right now his confidence is low. He has that reverse anorexia thing and believes he is quite slim when really he is has a huge build. If you get with him realise he probably has no money whatsoever - well until he gets a job. If he approaches you and you turn him away, do it gently otherwise a weight might get thrown at the mirror in anger. He is frustrated as he takes steroids.

Level 2 Gym Man

This is the guy you really want, he is balanced, he comes around 3 times a week, does a little exercise and then goes home, he probably will only be there an hour. Again I have lots of these in my gym. This guy has other things in his life apart from the gym which make him interesting, funny and very intelligent. Don’t think he isn’t fit though of course he wont be as built as a Level 3 or as perfect as a Level 4 but he still looks good and still has hair on his chest and legs. This guy will have clocked you from the day you joined and although friendly, wont be in a rush to talk to you. A man like this has plenty of chances to get women unlike the other two. To get this man start with a simple hello and go from there, during your conversations show that you too have a life outside the gym, always end the conversation first to leaving him wanting more. This guy can cook, eat with chopsticks and has travelled.

Level 1 Gym Man

This guy comes to the gym but hardly works out, he came to find a woman and walks around like a hungry dog sweating and salivating. He doesn’t exercise much and he has one massive belly if you are on the bike he may sit on the one next to you and try and talk whilst keeping up with you. It rarely works and he ends up being a big smelling blob. He spends a lot of his time sitting at a machine but talking loudly on his mobile telling the person at the other end he is at the gym. I strongly discourage it, but If you get with him remember how unfit he is and how in the bedroom he would sweat quite a lot and you wouldn’t be able to see his penis because his belly would be in the way. He also probably has a wife and children at home.

Good Luck sistas!

Ps, email subscribers im so happy you are there but please would you mind posting your comments on the main Angel Cake website I would be delighted and would prefer this to you emailing me.


Anonymous said...

Level 1 Gym Man had me cracking up!! lol I was saying that i wanted to join the gym.

ANGELINA said...

Haha! I recently joined the gym and I've encountered all of these types of gym men lol. I like the Level 2s!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Just my luck Level 1 would be the one chasing after

ShonaVixen said...

Girl all i can ask is where is your gym so i can find Mr Level 2

Dope Fiend said...

LOOOOOOOLLL! Too funny! I do need me a level 2 though...u noe what scrap that I just need a man. Winter is a coming! BODY WARMTH!

That's the blog...O.o not much on it right now but...yeah Im hoping it will be a success. xoxo

MilesPerHour said...

Angel, That was pretty good but the ladies need to know that there are combinations of these "gym men" as well. I am a level 2 gym man with a much better build than you describe. No steroids or psychological difficulties either-lol. I even have a decent job.

Selah said...

this was HILARIOUS. (note the caps lol)

I love my gym because there is soooo much eye candy. And most of it seems. I don't talk to em tho. Don't want them to open their mouths and disappoint me. lol

Keith said...

Hey Angel, how are you doing love?
(I lived in London for a spell-lolol) This had me laughing, but it's all true...The Gym is the new social meeting place.

(Judging from your photos, you are in pretty good shape and probably don't need a gym as bad as others might..)

Angel said...

@BorednTalkative, well I'm still there I'm sure as I get more into it I will have more stories to tell

@Angelia, lol I'm glad the gym guys are at your gym too.

@Curvygurl, hahaha I hope not!

@ShonaVixen, come along one time with me, its in North London

@Dope Fiend, that’s what men do in the winter? Find someone to keep them woarm lol. I'm going to check out your new blog shortly.

@MPH, you are right I know there are different guys I know there is always an exception to the rule but the exception, like you is usually taken lol

@Selah, :) Caps noted. Well I'm sure when you fell of the treadmill as you wrote in your blog you have managed to catch most of the gym men’s attention. Haha!

@Keith, I'm fine, thanks for asking, Ladies Keith is right the gym is the new meeting place. Thanks for your comments about my pictures Keith but you know I'm only posting the good ones up :)

Candace said...

This is funny!

Lucky you. Lot's of women at my gym :( Instead of eye candy, I get left thinking "hmmm...does my butt look like that when I'm on the treadmill" or "how many crunches do I have to do to get THAT stomach." I guess there are ups and downs to it. Could care less about sweating. :-)

Sultana said...

Level 1. Uugh! Just uugh...

**neemadivinity.blogspot has moved!!!

Angel said...

@ Candace, lol well one day you can come to mu gym :)

@ Sultanta, hahaha!!

CoCoCosmopolitan said...

LOL..this is hilarious.

I've been noticed by a good-looking guy at my gym recently...I'm trying to figure out if he's a level 4 (he's BUFF and knows what he's doing) or a level 2 (seems sociable and friendly)...I don't go often enough to know how often he goes lol.