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Saturday 7 March 2009

Later in life it gets lonely and cold that’s why the young should talk to the old.



I love waking up naturally, not to the sound of an alarm, so when I awoke this morning I felt good.


It was strange because I had a dream about Michael Jackson. I don’t remember the details but I know he was in it. I have no idea why I was dreaming about him although he is coming to the UK in July to do his final concert, so perhaps it was about that. I have seen him in concert before and it was amazing, but now he is a weirdo so I don’t have high expectations…anyway I’m digressing. I woke up and for the first time in a long time I asked myself the question “what should I do with my day?”


I’m usually rushing around everywhere my time and life dictated by my diary but today I felt free, the day was mine.


I put on the radio and ate a lovely breakfast they had a little gospel playing isn’t it great how that music lifts you? Gospel music has a feel good factor about it.


I looked out and the sun was trying to get out and that’s when I saw my balcony and realised it was in a real mess.


Usually I love my balcony most of the time it’s beautiful. In the summer I sit outside and eat breakfast, on hot summer evenings I sit out there listening to soft music and reading. I planted lavender in pots out there so the smell would waft in when I have the doors open and I always feel like I’m on holiday when I’m out there. It faces trees and a grassy area were children play sometimes. It’s really quiet and a lovely place to live.


Anyway this morning it was a mess, because of the snow, the bad weather and general neglect all my other plants apart from the lavender were dead, or waterlogged. I realised that that’s what I would do with my day I was going to sort it out.


So I took myself to the garden centre. Do young black female’s garden? Or go to garden centres? I ask because when I arrived EVERYONE was staring at me. I really regretted wearing my hooded top.


I ignored the eyes and went into the outdoor section and browsed around, I tell you I was confused! All the beautiful things that I liked had too much info and I was reading the labels on how to care for these things and I wasn’t feeling confident.


There was a sales guy who had been following me around watching my every move so I turned and said


“Its ok darling I’m not going to steal a plant, it’s not a practical thing to try and run away with is it?” then I laughed but he didn’t there was a bit of an uncomfortable silence so I continued “Do you know anything about gardening? I’m looking for plants that don’t need to be planted in the ground and are happy in containers”


This guy was useless he just blushed bright red and mumbled something the scuttled off.


I laughed loudly and continued looking around and that’s when I saw someone who looked like they knew what they were doing. It was an old lady, she looked about 70 she had a few plants in her trolley and she was looking seriously at a gardening magazine.


“Hi” I smiled then I repeated the question that I had asked the sales guy


She smiled quickly, the seriousness disappearing from her face to reveal something that may have been beautiful when she was younger. She said “Well my dear, what you need is a…..


That was when we got talking, in fact I spent at least an hour in the garden centre talking to her. Her name was Betty and she was widower living alone. The reason I stayed so long is I realised that this was probably the first conversation with anyone she had in a while and also my day was free and I wasn’t rushing around anywhere. Isn’t it amazing what we can do when we slow down a little?


Even though she didn’t complain or mention it, I got the impression that she was lonely.

This was the second time she has left her home since the snow which was a month ago!! The first time was only yesterday. When it was cold she was really ill with a chest infection and has only just got better. She said she was happy to get out yesterday and get some food as she had been living on canned stuff. I was surprised and asked her if anyone called in on her when she was sick I also asked her where her family was. She said that she has one son but he lives in Australia and she hasn’t seen him in years and that most of her friends have died and the ones that are alive aren’t very mobile. I made a mental note that I need to have a few kids so that if one leaves the country there might be one around to take care of me. She has a big garden which her husband used to do but its just too much hard work for her now so she was there today looking for plants that just take care of themselves.


So we chatted and she confessed how much she was enjoying talking to me. The woman had a wealth of gardening knowledge that’s why young should always talk to the old. After asking me a hundred questions about my balcony she helped me choose some three new plants and gave me advice on how to revive the old ones. In fact she gave me so many tips and guidelines, some which I wrote down I was more than grateful.


I felt a bit sad to leave her but then we all have our own paths I wonder if I will see her again.


When I got home I did some serious work, following her advice and now my balcony is set to be a pretty picture. When everything starts growing and flowering I will post one :)




The first photo (white) is called a Choisya ternata, its an evergreen and the white flowers wont be on mine until late summer. its going to grow tall 2.5m.


The second photo (purple) is called a Skimmia Joponica its scented so should be nice for when im sitting out there. It flowers in the spring.


13 comments:

Solomon said...

I was nice of you to talk to her, in the end it worked out for mthe both of you, she got some company, and she was able to give you the information you were looking for.

♥ CG ♥ said...

I tell ya, Angel, sometimes our thoughts are eerily similar. I just had a conversation with my girlfriend about how we like to gain wisdom from older women, especially since our moms aren't around. It's a wonderful thing. Earlier today I thought about writing a post on what advice you'd share with someone younger than yourself, I may do that this week. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, sweetie pie (and try to avoid those Jacko dreams...lol).

Ondo Lady said...

Oh what a touching story, it does make you realise that there are a lot of lonely people in this country. There is no sense of community and everyone is so focussed on keeping their heads above water that they do not have time to step off the treadmill. Even when I walk down the street I find myself going at a crazy pace. It is only when I take time to slow down that I can appreciate the scenery and wonderful views.

I am sure your balcony looks great and that reminds me that I need to get new plants in and sort out my garden.

ShonaVixen said...

Gurl I went on my balcony today and sighed...it looks so terrible that since I have a day of tomorrow that will make my to do list most certainly...m not green-fingered but I do like to see some lovely flowers!!
I remember i had a lovely conversation with an old lady at the bus stop once and I knew she just wanted some-one to talk to!!

Anonymous said...

Wow..this just made me smile. Amazingly beautiful! People need to pay attention to all the beautiful things around them instead of all the negativity!

Keith said...

This was simply beautiful (as is the photo of the plants) I always talk to older people..The information and wisdom they have given me over the years has been matchless, priceless... I'm glad you talked to that women and was able to get information from her while giving her some probably much needed company. (You're a good person Angel(smile & hugs)

And I'm so jealous that Micheal Jackson is doing his final concert tour in the U.K. and I won't get to see him live again. Last time I saw him live was in 1985..(You probably weren't even born yet, were you? (smile)

Robyn.K.Y said...

it happened to me once,,but this time a jewelery shop in New Delhi,,everyone looked with facial expression that said"oohh a black guy is buying jewelery"

Angel said...

@Solomon yeah a happy ending for me and her :)

@CurvyGurl, I’m sorry to hear that your Mum isn’t here anymore I’m glad you have older women to talk to. I’m looking forward to your post!

@Ondo Lady, yeah there are a lot of lonely people around it actually makes me want to do more but (sigh) time! Oh you lucky woman a garden, I cant wait until I have one im going to try and make it look beautiful.

@ShonaVixen, what’s up girl? I’m sure you will find plants that take care of themselves. Old people do just want someone to talk to that’s why I’m gonna have loads of kids if I can!

@GlamStarr, glad it made you smile yeah there is so much beauty in the world we just miss it in our hurrying

@Keith, hey hold on a min, I was alive…just…lol. I’m a lot older than people think you know, it’s a shame you will miss him, If the tickets are available and not astronomical prices I might go and tell you what it was like. Glad you think I’m a good person, I try to be…its hard sometimes :)

Angel said...

@ Robyn LOL!

All-Mi-T [Thought Crime] Rawdawgbuffalo said...

great advice

Angel said...

Thats Torrance! Great to see you x

Dope Fiend said...

“Its ok darling I’m not going to steal a plant, it’s not a practical thing to try and run away with is it?”

SO Unserious!

that was really sweet of you though, I think I'd have done the same. I love elderly people, they're so cute.

Angel said...

@Dope Fiend glad I cam make you laugh Welcome :)