Ok so now I’m impressed with facebook.

In 1999 my father died (he had cancer). He was not in contact with any of his family at all so with him died all knowledge of any of his side of my family. The story is that his own father was abusive so as soon as he could he got away left Jamaica and never went back and never contacted anyone only his own mother. His death was hard as we didn’t even have anyone to contact to tell them he had passed. We could find no details on his mum.

I spent many years trying to trace his family but there were so many dead ends and his own fathers name wasn’t even on his birth certificate and I couldn’t find his mum anywhere. In the end I gave up. However every now and then I did wonder where they were, I knew he had sisters and often wondered if perhaps I was passing them on the streets and didn’t even know.

He had an address book with people in Jamaica in it, but no phone numbers. I wrote to these addresses and never got a reply.

Last week to my amazement I was contacted through facebook by a lady who is my cousin, my Dad’s niece!! She contacted my brother who gave her my name and I started to check her out.

At first I was sure she got my name from many of the family tracing websites I had placed my name on. But as we got to talk properly I realised that she had searched our fathers surname, found my bro and then found me. I spoke to her and my aunt. I nearly cried when I realised that they had been actively tracing us for years too. My Grandmother had a photo of my dad with all us children on it and they still have that photo.  No wonder I couldn’t find my Gran, she changed her name before she died.

They are living in Boston USA and they gave me the names of my fathers seven sisters and where they all were at, some in Jamaica, some in Canada and some in USA one has also passed away.

These people are most definitely my family, they named many of the people that are in my dads address book and told me a lot about him when he was young. I am so excited, I just don’t really know what to do next...

Facebook is brilliant, I guess you can find anyone on there so if you are looking for someone, make that the first place to start!

The best birthday ever…

In 2005 I celebrated my birthday for the first time ever. Yeah that’s right first time, I never had a sweet 16^th, I didn’t have an 18^th or 21^st so I decided for no reason that I would have a party to make up for all those missing ones.

A friend of mine helped me hire out a club exclusively. I also had an amazing DJ and then I invited everyone I knew! The party ended up having around 300 people in it! I was modelling a lot back then and when you are in those circles you have quite a lot of ‘friends’

To this day that was the best night of my entire life so far.

After arriving at around 11pm and being greeted by loads of screaming friends holding lots of gifts, I chatted, mingled, and eventually danced the night away. I felt like a superstar when halfway through the club all stopped to sing happy birthday to me. It was so wonderful being surrounded by everyone you knew. I felt so special and loved.

My dress was the most expensive dress I had ever worn at that time my mum went shopping with me to pick it and I have never felt so good.

Afterwards my house was jammed with cards as nearly every person that came to the party brought me one.

If you have never celebrated your birthday properly make this your year.

So now let’s fast forward to four years later. I was sitting down looking at photos of that birthday and remembering it with smiles, when suddenly I realised that only five of those three hundred people that I knew four years ago are coming to my birthday this year. I started to look through my phone and see who was still in it and half of them weren’t the other half I haven’t spoken to in years. Isn’t it strange how people come and go in your life?

So since I really haven’t had an amazing birthday since, I hope that Saturday 16^th is good.

I found a new dress to wear – what do you think of it?

Also....

This made me die laughing (Click Here)

I have been tagged but I don’t actually know the rules – someone explain them…

Two Weeks Away to the Special Day

Well the fear has gone and I feel things are going to be alright between me and Mr Special. I just have to take each day as it comes. We are at my parents this weekend and im looking forward to it.

Also with the Charity, I haven’t given up but I'm going to contact head office and see what they say.

Today I'm feeling good for two reasons, the first is my birthday is coming…on May the 15th I'm going to be a big woman. I have been planning a long celebration and for once I'm looking forward to it.

Apart from 2005 (which is in my next post) I have never ever looked forward to a birthday I find it hassle and stress.

Everyone asks you what you are doing and what you have planned and it’s down to you to sort something out. Id love one day for someone to do a surprise or plan something for me I thought it would be this year but alas no…so I'm thinking that perhaps If I am blessed with children they might do a surprise 50th or 60th or something.


So this year my birthday week is going something like this (a lot of eating is involved)

11th May – Birthday lunch with a good friend and colleague, he has a gift for me :)

12th May – Birthday lunch with another colleague

In the evening I'm going to Yoga

13th May – Birthday lunch with two colleagues, one left our company a while back, one still works there and is a good friend

In the evening I'm going to the Salsa Club and will need it as I need to work off the three lunches.

14th May - Birthday Lunch with My Team

In the evening I'm going out to the Karaoke to dance and celebrate my birthday.

15th May MY BIRTHDAY - I'm spending the day with Mr Special, we both have it booked off and I'm not quite sure what we are doing yet.

16th May – I'm going on a Boat Cruise with all my friends, 19 are coming with a further 5 tentative I cannot wait but I don’t know what to wear

17th May – My entire family and Mr Specials Family are going to Lunch :)

18th May – Recovering.


So that’s what I'm up to, I hope it’s a fun/memorable week.

One of the other questions I get asked is “what do you want for your birthday?”

That’s always a hard one but I guess that this year all I want is to be surrounded by those who love me, to get a cake with candles on, to be sung to and if you really must get something then a Mercedes would go down well.

So…… What did you do for your birthday this year or what will you do if it hasn’t happened already?

What has been your most memorable one?
The other reason why I'm feeling good is because its 5 weeks to go until I go to Antigua!!! Whoo hooo!!

The Healing Feeling

I've had a busy long weekend!! Remember when you were a child and your relatives used to visit? It was exciting wasn’t it? Mum used to get out the best cups and you used to be dressed all nicely? Well at the weekend, family were getting out the best plates for me as I was in Derbyshire where I did a few family visits.

For some reason many of my people live up there so I had to go see quite a few. I haven't been up there in (shame) three years, although I have seen them at events and in London and I speak on the phone I haven't made the trip myself.

When I went to my sisters. I felt like the true Auntie from London with the whole 'wow haven't you grown?' 'how are you getting on in school?' my niece does cheerleading and I was saying 'show me a little routine' that kind of thing I even took a few family photos and had to sit through a good many home movies. It was so nice though.

Being the model family member I took gifts to all, mostly bottles of wine but I made sure I took my grandmother one of the bags from my website and my sister some lovely soaps.

One person I made sure I went to see was my Daddy, he is resting in Derby Cemetery, it so was hard going there because I haven't been since he was put there. At first I couldn’t find his plot and I got really upset and emotional but I found it. I went alone and for some reason spent around two hours there. I miss him a lot and its nice to have a place to go and express that. I cant explain it but when I sat there and poured my heart out, I think some hurt, or something inside me healed right up and now I feel lighter. I hope that makes sense.

So all in all I would say this weekend was fantastic, I got to spend time with the people I loved, eat a lot of food, laugh, smile, dance and heal my heart.

Visiting Dad was on my 30 things list (it was a personal one) I'm glad I went. When was the last time you visited family? Or had that healing feeling?